


this may be a little cheesy, but I can’t let you go

by awfuldaycupcake



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Gen, Kinda, Unhappy Ending, Unreciprocated, Unreciprocated Love, hhh - Freeform, if you know me irl and see this? no you didn't, not me projecting my own rejection onto two fictional characters!, taagnus, unreciprocated taagnus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:53:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28657518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awfuldaycupcake/pseuds/awfuldaycupcake
Summary: Taako feels himself falling.
Relationships: Magnus Burnsides & Taako, Taako/Magnus Burnsides (one-sided)
Kudos: 8





	this may be a little cheesy, but I can’t let you go

Taako couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment it started.

Seeing Barry moon over Lup, and seeing his sister do the same, it… something about it. Something about the way they looked at each other. Lup didn’t need him, really, not anymore. 

And maybe, that knowledge that they were the only seven to go through this continual existence was enough to push him over that edge.

But one day, in one of the many worlds they’d been in, something about Magnus’s laugh just…  _ sent _ him. 

It was a moment of realization, Taako had thought at the time. Although, if he’s honest, it was partially a decision. A conscious choice. After all, he was bored. And there was Magnus, tall as anything, with a giant grin and a welcoming presence. He felt like home, and if Taako thought about it…

Well. Taako had plenty of time to think about it.

And soon, the moments spent alone with Magnus became less about just two friends passing time, and to him, something more. There were hidden intentions behind everything Magnus did. There were stolen glances and soft touches that Taako allowed himself to lean into, to think more and more about.

As time went on, however, loving Magnus became less of a pastime for when he was bored, and more… desperate. It looked like craving attention when everyone around you was content with what they had, and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t break that contentment. It looked like Merle and Dav recounting stories of fishing and hunting, like Lucrecia recording everything with a silent smile, like Lup and Barry disappearing early from the dinners Taako would make, glints in their eyes. 

And he’d be alone.

Until, Magnus.

Going on walks, stargazing, comparing rocks they’d picked up through different worlds.

Magnus.

Swimming, hiking, daring stunts and making the best out of every situation.

Magnus.

_ Magnus, Magnus, Magnus. _

Until it became too much to bear.

It was cycle 62. Thankfully Davenport had been keeping track, as Pan knows that Taako hadn’t. It had been 15 years since the Lup and Barry thing finally happened. 15 full years of this pining, Taako blatantly staring at Magnus whenever he got the chance. In fact, he was surprised at this point that Lup hadn’t caught on. But, well. She was busy, wasn’t she.

This cycle was a beautiful one, really. There were treetop buildings and bridges miles off the ground, with archways and wooden architecture everywhere. Whatever people had lived here didn’t seem to be here anymore, and frankly, it’s a big planet. They could be anywhere. 

Well. Honestly, if you asked Taako, he still didn’t know where, how, or when they were. It didn’t make sense. The rules did, in abstract-- they woke up, even if they died, at the end of a new cycle after a year. Fine. 

The distant past was foggy now. Every world, destroyed after their visits. It had become increasingly apparent that all they had was in front of them. In fact…

Taako tilted his head, zoning back into whatever Magnus was excitedly talking about now. 

It was just after dusk, and the two of them were sitting on a felled log, their feet dangling into the abyss underneath them. There were cicadas chirping faintly in the distance, and the  _ dancing lights _ cantrip Taako had cast made the whole place feel… something. He couldn’t put a word to it.

Magnus was gushing about some dream he’d had, that he, Taako, and Merle were all flying in a giant bubble. He was talking animatedly with his hands, gesturing this way and that. It was nonsense, really, and for whatever reason, Taako just couldn’t take it anymore.

“Y’know big guy, I think I might be in love with you.”

Magnus stopped mid-sentence, his face freezing in position. He slowly lowered his hands, his mouth hanging open for far too long for Taako’s comfort.

They sat there, quiet, for another twenty or so seconds before Taako  _ got _ the idea.

“Right. Yeah, okay. I get it. You could’ve at least let me down easy, you know,” Taako said, standing up on the log they were sitting on. It was shaky, and he had to focus to even walk straight on this thing. 

“Taako, wait--” Magnus called out. In an effort to turn to face him, Taako pivoted on his heel, and for whatever reason…

It sent him plummeting. 

Magnus reached out, grabbing him just barely, his fingers clasping onto Taako’s wrist. 

Taako took a deep breath, adrenaline and fear and  _ rejection _ buzzing through his veins.

“Let me go, Magnus.”

Magnus paused, his eyes wide as saucers. “What?”

“Let me go! I’m so sick of this, these repeating cycles when I just feel so-- alone. So alone, Mag! And frankly, if I’m currently blowing it with you, I might as well just tap out of this one. I’ll see you next round,” Taako said. There was pain in his voice, but also a slight amount of anger. Bitterness that Taako tried to hide, but always seemed to surface.  _ Figures. _

Magnus heaved a bitter laugh, pulling Taako up next to him. Magnus put his arm around him, steadying him on the log in the seated position he’d occupied just minutes ago. Before Taako had spoken the words he’d assumed would break everything.

“Taako, I just-- I don’t really feel the same way, but that’s okay, isn’t it? You’re still so important to me, and I. I’m sorry you feel alone. Really, I am. Because Taako, you are  _ beautiful.  _ You are magnificent, you are my best friend, and if you’ve been feeling alone, I will do everything I can to make you feel at home with all of us, okay? And like, up here… this may be a little cheesy, but I can’t let you go, okay? I can’t let you go.”

Taako took a deep breath, staring at his friend. His best friend. The man he was in love with, who didn’t see Taako the same way. And maybe, just maybe, that was okay.

“Thanks, Magnus,” Taako said, heaving a sigh. 

“Anytime, Taako,” Magnus offered, pulling Taako in for a one-armed hug. 

And that was that.

Time moved on, believe it or not. Cycles passed. Merle and John parlayed a few more times, Taako died a few times here and there. There were the liches. The umbrella. Faerun.

And then… it was gone. All of it.

On the flip side of the Stolen Century, things were less complicated. Taako started traveling, joining whatever groups would have him, cleaning up his cooking skills. He met a man he thought he’d appreciated enough, but with Sazed, things were always doomed to fail. They were a poor match, and Taako had known that even at the time, but…

After Glamour Springs, things were difficult.  _ Really  _ difficult.

Taako never wanted to be an adventurer, but something about the Rockseeker case caught his eye, one night in a Tavern not too far from Neverwinter. He moved almost outside of his own volition, making his way towards the barkeep and asking for more information.

And when he saw Magnus, something… clicked.

Taako didn’t know what it was, and in his (admittedly short) memory, when things clicked, it was romantic. That’s how it worked.

And, for the second time in their lives, Taako asked enough questions of himself, and eventually, caused himself to fall.

Unconscious feelings leading to a choice. A decision. 

They were fighting goblins, some time into their journey. It wasn’t going well. Taako was hit, and he fell. And as Taako teetered on the verge of consciousness, Magnus ran over to him, gently putting a healing potion between his lips, muttering a quiet “This may be a little cheesy, but I can’t let you go.”

A moment of static filled Taako’s head, striking him with a memory he couldn’t quite touch.

Just as his eyes flittered open, he caught glimpse of the wooden wedding band around Magnus’s left ring finger. Ah. So. No point wishing after a taken man, after all. 

Taako stood up, readying his wand.

“Thanks, Magnus,” Taako said.

Magnus offered a smile. “Any time, Taako.”

And that was that.

**Author's Note:**

> ah, not me being a taako kinnie and projecting my emotions onto him 🤗
> 
> it's fine, and frankly i love my best friend in every way that matters. and accepting that and saying "hey, okay, I love this person and they don't feel the same, but i still love them. nothing is wrong or undesirable about me, and that's okay." 
> 
> anyways enjoy this i guess? i'll be very surprised if anyone reads this, i wrote it for me ngl. and i needed it
> 
> (AHAHAH P.S. grammarly read thru my draft and said the emotion it emulates is "sad," so do with that what you will)


End file.
